Bobby's Birthday
by ASGT and Kat Maximoff
Summary: What did Logan get Bobby for his birthday? And what insanity does he cause with it? And why is Kurt afraid to show his face in public again?


"Happy birthday, popsickle." Logan said gruffly as he shoved the crudely wrapped package into Bobby Drake's lap.  
  
"Thanks. but. it's not my birthday." Bobby stuttered, looking at Logan.  
  
"Do you want me to take it back?" Logan asked, eyeing Bobby.  
  
"Erm. No, thanks for the gift Logan. I'd better be off." Bobby then sprang up from the couch and ran upstairs to open the gift in private.  
  
"Something tells me I shouldn't have let him go." Logan said, taking a sip of his coffee. Black, like he liked it. **Spfffffffffftttt** "All right, who put dirt in the coffee?" Logan yelled to no one in particular, as he extended his claws. "No one gets away with messing with Wolverine's coffee and gets away with it!"  
  
Apparently, Logan has been hanging out with Gambit, storm notted as she pulled her issue of Cosmo with Halley Berry on the front (Why I play a comic book hero) over her face to keep from laughing.  
  
Bobby looked from the mirror to his present and back to the mirror again. He leaned forward, and stroked his chin. Maybe he I was /I getting a little bit of stubble. Either that, or someone had smeared something- "ALL RIGHT, WHO PUT THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE ON MY MIRROR?" Bobby yelled out in the hall. When no one answered, he simply whipped off the chocolate sauce, and continued looking at his mug. With one last glance at the Shick Intuition in his hand, he made up his mind. He was going to shave. More like chop his face off.  
  
Half an hour later..  
  
Wheee! This is fun! Thought Bobby as he ran the razor down the resident cat, that Kurt had insisted on naming Mystique. Well, Mystique was her middle name. Her first name was Snugglumpus Madrox the 731/3rd. (Jamie and Kurt both shared her.) So most people called her 'Snuggle' or '73' or in some cases, 'Jamie (or Kurt)-get-ur-stupid-cat-outta-here!' Now, Snugglumpus Madrox the 731/3rd had a stripe taken out of her lovely black fur. Jamie blinked, as he had been holding Snugglumpus Madrox the 731/3rd when Bobby ripped by on his ice slide. Then, Jamie looked at the cat, looked at Bobby, and started to bawl. "I loved my pretty-kitty's fur! And now. and now.. THAT EVIL MUTANT NAMED ROBERT DRAKE CAME AND TOOK IT ALL AWAY FROM ME! LOGAN! STORM! PROFESSOR XAVIER! MR. MCCOY! HELP! BOBBY JUST KILLED MY CAT!" Funny isn't it, how Jamie changed course so quickly. Hearing the foot steps of many-a-adult-mutant, Bobby hopped back on his ice- slide and headed up towards the attic.  
  
Where he hid until around 11 PM and all of the residents of the mansion had given up hop to ever finding the elusive Ice Man. Bobby quietly pocketed his razor and began creeping down the stairs to have even more fun with his new razor. First stop. Ray's room.  
  
"Hehehehe! There goes one lock. Two. Three! Hahahaha!" Who put Bobby on sugar? WHO? I DEMAND to know! "There goes Ray's 'adorable'," Bobby did the quotes with his hands. "Bangs. His chick magnets. his. his. his. Ugly beyond belief hair do. I think he owes me a favor." Bobby chuckled to himself, as he put Ray's former bangs in a plastic baggie to deposit later in Tabitha's room. Next stop.. Our favorite fuzzy blue elf's room. Bobby looked at his razor. Still enough sharpness to shave ALL of Kurt.. Except maybe. a few areas. Bobby grinned evilly. Laughing evilly to himself, Bobby set to work.  
  
The next morning was Saturday, and that meant only one thing to the Mutants that resided in Professor Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters. Danger Room Sessions.  
  
"Up and attum, Elf. Holy freaking moo machine! What happened to you?" Logan looked at Kurt with a mixture of shock and amazement on his face.  
  
"Vhat? Vhat happened? Ahck!" Kurt turned around and looked in the mirror. And he was shocked to see himself. with no fur. "Mien fur! It's gone!" Kurt sank to his knees in silent mourning for his beloved blue fur.  
  
"What is all this racket? Ahck! Kurt, yoa fur! It's gone!" Rogue yelled as she burst through the door to see what all the racket was about.  
  
"I know zhat mien sister. Vhat happened to et?" He flung himself at her feet, as if pleading for her to make his fur grow back.  
  
"Kurt. ya'll need ta chill fer a second."  
  
"Fur! Don't remind me!"  
  
"As Ah said, ya'll need to hang on I FOR /I a second." She stressed the word 'for' as to not hit it with her accent.  
  
"Vhat? Did I suddenly turn into Jamie? Vhy are you calling me 'y'all'?" Kurt asked, looking up at Rogue, his yellow eyes wide.  
  
"No. But listen. Kurt. at least ya look semi-normal." She said sincerely looking down at her poor brother.  
  
"But zhats not zhe point! I loved mien fur! I used to shampoo et and brush et and even use a deep conditioner on et once a veek! And now you tell me zhat et's okay?" He stood up slowly, looking at Rogue menacingly.  
  
"Ah never said that, just listen fer a second." Kurt had drew himself up to his full height and still looked quite demonic, minus the blue fur.  
  
"Nien! Et's mien I FUR /I zhat ve're talking about here. Mien beloved fur! Now I can't go out and face zhe public! I am too humiliated!" Kurt put his face in his hands as loud sobs racked through his body.  
  
"Um. Elf. Stripes. I've gotta go wake up the others. Elf, you can have today off, how does that sound?" Kurt nodded as Logan left the room. Something told Logan that it was the work of a certain poop-sickle, and boy. was he going to pay.  
  
~  
  
A/N:  
  
That's all folks! Mehe! Thanks to Brandy for the 'More like chop his face off.' Line, to my henna, for letting me give myself 8 tattoos, Milanda, for distracting me and making me let her add the name 'JACK' to my many tattoos tomorrow and mostly. to myself, for coming up with this idea! And Marvel. as I don't own any of this stuff. And Shick, for it's 'intuition' for good ideas. And Venus, because the Shick is only good for travel, and Venus works better at home. And Kat. because she annoys the hell out of me so I can go find her book.  
  
~ASGT the Insane and Inane. 


End file.
